When confronted with the oppressive weight of a backlog of games to play, the temptation to forego them for a comforting classic is tempting, but above all else it’s the guilty pleasures that we inevitably gravitate towards. We’re talking about the games we’re embarrassed to play, but that have a special place in our cold, steely gamer hearts. Here are five gaming guilty pleasures you’ll never admit to playing.
Any Mobile Game
Any true gamer worthy of the name would be loathed to admit they’ve even considered playing a mobile game, but in reality we all need our fix when on the move. You’d get more of a pass when playing mobile versions of Fortnite, PUBG or even Pokemon Go, but playing Candy Crush Saga is a big no no, or god forbid you were involved in FarmVille on Facebook, the shame. We’ve all done it though.
Kids Games
Be it any title from the huge catalogue of Lego Games or more acceptable titles like Ratchet & Crank, there’s something hugely appealing about games made specifically for kids. Maybe it’s the focus on simple fun or the adorable characters, but what’s for sure is that admitting to favoring Barbie Horse Adventures over Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus is a one-way ticket to gaming purgatory.
Licensed Video Games
You loved the movie and don’t want the adventure to end so you tentatively delve into the world of third-party merchandising. Sometimes it works well like in the case of the phenomenal Tell Tale Walking Dead series and at other times it’s a dismal mess, take pretty much any Star Wars game bar one or two stand out titles. Then there’s stuff you only play in the depth of night when no one is watching, with the lights down low and noise cancelling headphones on; Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Dancing with the Stars: We Dance! Please, please, don’t ever admit to anyone you play these.
Obscure Japanese Games On Steam
Steam is a strange microcosm of the weird. We’ve all scoured endless lists of indie games and be tempted to fork out ridiculously small amounts of money to satisfy our inner perve or re-enact angst-ridden high school years in a virtual world. Japanese developers tend to be at the epicenter of these games we really don’t want to admit we’ve played. For the more adventurous among us, there’s also a vibrant seriously-not-safe-for-work niche of buxom characters and bizzare plot lines.
The Sims
The Sims is the non-gamer video game by definition. Easy, accessible, cutesy and mind numbingly fun. And there lies the problem, hardcore gamers will happily lay down countless hours trolling imbecile Sims to their untimely deaths and wreaking havoc with their equally gullible offspring. Props to EA for making such an addictive real-life simulator. Just don’t admit to having spent six hours decking out your Sims crib with brand new furniture and a gazebo for those raucous neighborhood parties when your chatting with your squad in PUBG.
