You’re a hero who just slayed your 100th dragon (with your bare hands, might I add!), the coolest armour in the world, and dozens of loyal companions aiding your journey through the Wasteland/Magical Sky Realms/DMV. But you didn’t get here without withstanding your fair share of pain and suffering. Here’s the top ten things we know are a real pain in the ass for all RPG players.
10. Spend hours making a character only to start over again, and again, and again…
RPG players are anal people. We’ll spend two hours just to get those eyebrows right, and in one fell swoop start over again because they don’t match the rest of our character’s face. Two days later, you emerge from your (wo)man-cave with a smashed-to-oblivion console because.
9. No more room in inventory
You’re spelunking around a dungeon, spotting lots of loot along the way, buuuuuut you’re out of space in your inventory. Getting rid of your hoarder tendencies may be tough, but who knows when you’ll need a 16th axe in your inventory?
8. Awesome armour, crappy looks
RPGs are always having you make decisions, but the most important ones are obviously those of a sartorial nature. But most armour looks crappy, even if they are creme de la creme in terms of stats. If you’re like me and you don’t care about your stats, maybe you want to leave it at home in hopes of getting a better-looking one later on.
7. Saving your special items for too long and ending up not using them
You get a potion that boosts your health up to 130%, and you save it up for a later, more needful occasion. But as days, weeks and even months pass, your character gets stronger and stronger and stronger until the final boss battle when you find in a long-desert corner of your inventory… that same potion, now rendered obsolete.
6. Can’t use cool stuff because sucky stats
You’ve finished a quest and gotten so much cool loot, but surprise surprise! The game won’t let you do anything with it! That bow and arrow requires 35 agility, while you’re only a 10 =(. You’ll need to up your game first, sorry, eh.
5. Trying to find something in your packed as inventory
You want to upgrade that certain item you’ve been meaning to trick out for a while. Only one obstacle remains: You can’t find it. Let’s just hope you still remember what it looks like, yeah? No? What about what it’s called? …you’re fucked, m8.
4. Can’t start a mission until you’ve attained a certain level
Game developers have their own nefarious ways and means so as to stretch out gameplay. One of them is to make succeeding quests even harder and harder by spawning increasingly bloodthirsty enemies. If you don’t have enough XP from doing sidequests, bye bye life!
3. When you’re so damn powerful you kill your enemy with a single punch
The more you play, the tougher you get. But don’t it just suck when you get all excited about a mission, sneaking up to a bogey and expecting a glorious struggle, then they just drop dead? That’s what happens when you’ve got too much strength. Who’s to blame, the developers or you?
2. Dying except no save
In an RPG, you can die of anything anywhere. Thank goodness you turned on the autosave feature! Or did you?
1. Out of quests
You’re so engrossed in the game you’re playing you finish the story with all achievements and the best of armour, and there’s one domineering thought in your mind: what the fuck to do now? Maybe play another RPG, but that would mean abandoning the character you spent 200 hours making! *feelsbadman*
Bonus Round: Corrupted Save
Well, fuck. There goes three years of your life.